THIS IS A TEST SITE
Mental health concerns in the context of faith:
A Baha'i Perspective
Meet David:
David is a Baha’i and lives with Bipolar mood disorder. David declared at the age of fifteen, he grew up in a small town in BC with a very small Baha’i community. He moved to the big city some ten years ago and took some time to get to know the Baha’is here. He loves going to devotionals and makes an effort to attend the nineteen day feasts and Holy day celebrations.
David has struggled tremendously with the question of reconciling mental health and faith because he goes through spurts of being very active and involved and then disappearing for long periods of time.
David recounts his experience...
My experience of a mental health issue has, at times, truly challenged my beliefs. I questioned why some times I was really active and then at other times I couldn’t get out of bed. When I was active I was inspired and had spiritual feelings. But when I was not active, I felt abandoned, unworthy and felt that I was the cause of this condition of feeling so low because I was not putting in my best, I was not serving. I felt I was not living up to what I was being called to. I felt this was the consequence of my lack of service, that I was being punished and the doors of bounty were closed on me.
I have come a long way and there are certain things that I understand now. Mental health issues are a form of suffering, just as any physical ailment or other form of tests and challenges. Let me share a few of my favourite quotes that helped me redefine my relationship with my experience of mental health issues:
“Tests are benefits from God, for which we should thank Him. Grief and sorrow do not come to us by chance, they are sent to us by the Divine Mercy for our own perfecting.” Paris Talks p.42
“Know thou that the soul of man is exalted above, and is independent of all infirmities of body or mind. That a sick person showeth signs of weakness is due to the hindrances that interpose themselves between his soul and his body, for the soul itself remaineth unaffected by any bodily ailments. Consider the light of the lamp. Though an external object may interfere with its radiance, the light itself continueth to shine with undiminished power. In like manner, every malady afflicting the body of man is an impediment that preventeth the soul from manifesting its inherent might and power. When it leaveth the body, however, it will evince such ascendancy, and reveal such influence as no force on earth can equal. Every pure, every refined and sanctified soul will be endowed with tremendous power, and shall rejoice with exceeding gladness.” Gleanings p.153-154
Looking back now, getting involved in a study circle was the beginning of a huge change in my life. Although it was challenging to get started and change was not visible at the beginning, but as friendships developed I slowly found the safety in a spiritual context. One of the participants in the study circle shared his experience with us in how he had found relief to talk to some Assembly members. That gave me the idea, and the courage to approach a member of the Assembly that I knew on a more personal basis. From that conversation I found out that the Institution is actually talking about mental health issues and is open to learning. The Assembly member asked if I wished to be on the prayer list of the Institution, it gave me such a sense of support and hope knowing they are now praying for me.
In reality now I see that my experience of a mental illness is a spiritual experience.
I have learned that no matter what the circumstances, the experiences of this world are here for us to develop spiritual understandings. When I was in the darkness, I learned about my need for light. In meeting my specific challenges, I started getting glimpses of the purpose of my earthly life. There have been tremendous challenges involved with experiencing high moods and low moods and the extremes of both. But I began to see that my deeper understanding of these trials could also be of help to others.
“The mind and spirit of man advance when he is tried by suffering. The more the ground is ploughed the better the seed will grow, the better the harvest will be. Just as the plough furrows the earth deeply, purifying it of weeds and thistles, so suffering and tribulation free man from the petty affairs of this worldly life until he arrives at a state of complete detachment. His attitude in this world will be that of divine happiness. Man is, so to speak, unripe: the heat of the fire of suffering will mature him.”
Paris Talks, p. 178-179
The most painful part of all this is that my experience of a mental health issue has meant that I have done things that are not aligned with my faith values. When I experienced the highs of my mania, I overspent and put my extended family in terrible debt. My sexual indiscretions damaged my relationship beyond belief, and I was drowned in self loathing and shame. I was alone and suffering in my silence. I prayed and supplicated so much for relief from this agony. And then a most unexpected opportunity came up. One evening after the study circle, my friend walked me to the car and I just shared a tiny bit of my secret life with him. It was something about the way he was so loving and non-judgmental, and the fact that I was about to explode with this burden, that all of a sudden I found myself talking to him. This must have come from so much prayer and supplication, that truly was the turning point in my life. It felt like the beginning of breaking out of the desolate loneliness. I was astounded that this friend just held me in love and compassion. There is a quote from Baha’u’llah:
"I have heard thy cries and am conscious of thy tears. Remember at all times and in all places that God is faithful and do not doubt this. Be patient even though great calamities may come upon thee. Yet fear not! Be firm in the path of thy Lord; as a mountain unmoved, unchanging in thy steadfastness.”
Although I heard this much later, but I knew it was about that time. He heard my cries, he led me to the study circle. He was faithful to me even when I had failed him so many times and so badly. But I was trying to be steadfast, I was making every effort to attend the study circle. “God is faithful and do not doubt this.”
Even though our community is generally still quite judgemental about mental illness and all the challenges that come with it, but I now know there are opportunities to have some true connections and not only there are individuals, but there are Institutions that care, they actually pray for me every week. Of course I still live with the ordeal of reconciling my actions and my values, but I also have hope as I have a few genuine friends within the community that do not judge me and help me explore the Writings in a way that doesn't paralyze me.
Resources:
“The Meaning of Suffering & The Mystery of Sacrifice”, Selections from the Baha’i Holy Writings -- this is a small compilation that can be purchased at the Baha’i Bookstore.
Links:
Learn more about the Baha’i Faith: www.bahai.org
Learn more about the Vancouver Baha’i Community: www.vancouverbahai.org
Learn more about the Institute process: www.bahai.org/frontiers/
